Boundries

It is important to have strict boundaries when it comes to the in-laws. If you don't have boundaries in when they can come over, when you visit them, the things you discuss with them, the decisions that they are a deciding factor in, then it could seriously destroy your marriage. The first years are so important to a married couple and they need to figure out things for themselves. You don't have to do this in a rude way. It is just important to make boundaries and then stay strict to them. These boundaries are different for every couples. So as long as the couple decides together and comes to an agreement then it will make for a lot happier marriage!

DIVORCE

The fact that 50% of all marriages end in divorce is a myth. The truth is that 75% of couples are happily married. In 1970 there was a peak in divorce in the United States because of the No Fault Act in 1969. This act made it so that people could get divorced for no reason pretty much. 70% of Americans who divorce regretted the divorce and wish they would have tried to save their marriage. And interestingly that same number (70%) of the males remarried.

So why do people divorce? A list that we came up with in class is:
-people are set in their ways (stubborn)
-Skill sets
-it is simply an option
-kids
-finances

A prophet gave this formula for a NEVER FAILING MARRIAGE.
1= Careful selection
2=Great Unselfishness
3=Continued Courtship

These sound pretty simple, but because if stupidity and selfishness marriages fail. It is worth the extra work to keep your marriage happy!

Purposes of Parenting

What are some of the purposes of parenting? There a 100's of answers, but I think a very important one is to teach patience. In class someone said this, " Some kids are sent to parents for the parents to learn from and some kids are sent to the parents for the kids to learn from." I thought this was really interesting because most of the time I think that parents are supposed to teach their kids everything but in reality, a lot of the times kids are the ones that teach the parents.

Who gets effected by parenting? EVERYONE! I think of having to deal with roommates who were raised differently. People you work with, live with, spend time with. The way your parents raised you effects your whole life and other people have to deal with you!

Compromise/Concensus

What is the difference between compromise and consensus  In class we discussed this but I am not quite sure that I understand it. I am going to try my best to explain but all you readers out there are welcome to put in your input! On a compromise both parties give and take a little. A consensus is when all parties agree 100% about everything that is being decided upon. I thought this was really interesting to think about when it comes to marriage. Can you compromise God's will? I don't think so. A consensus IS Gods will. While making a consensus it is important to be very open and honest with everyone. People become whole and unifies when the come to a consensus 

COMMUNICATION is KEY

Communication is SOOOO important. Not just for couples but for all members of the family. It is easier to communicate if you have shared meanings (symbolic interaction theory). Communication doesn't always come easy, it is something everyone has to work on. As silly as it sounds there is something called meta-communication which is communication about communication. I know of so many arguments that I have had with boyfriends, friends, family all because of a lack of communication. No body meant to suck at communication, but it is different for everyone. So it is okay to talk about how you like to communicate.

Physical Intimacy

Physical Intimacy is a beautiful thing. I think as members of the church sometimes we shy away from talking about it because it is saved until marriage.It is very private and sacred, but it is okay to talk about. It is important to remember that this physical intimacy is the thing that makes us closest to being like a God. Not only does it bond our bodies, but it bonds our souls together.

In class we discussed the things that make a guy sexy and things that make a girl sexy. Since the class is 90% girls we mostly talked about what makes a guy sexy. These are some of the things we came up with:
-smell
-voice
-how they act with children
-if they can cook
-when they make eye contact
-helping out around the house
-if he has a good relationship with his family
-sensitivity
-gives me a sense of safety and security

The thing that makes a girl sexy are:
-smell
-the way we dress
-hard worker
-sexual

Bringing in the Children

Once a couple has a kid their marital  happiness starts to go down. It is not that they are miserable, but they both become more distracted from each other. They now have this other person that they have to take care of. The father could become more busy with jobs to financially provide for the child. The mom will become more busy with taking care of and nurturing the child. With every child that comes this happiness in marriage continually decreases. It is important to keep a marriage strong and still be romantic with each other.